Michael Cole Seminars

The Universal Law of Association states that: “We become like those whom we ASSOCIATE with most.” The Universal Law of Association describes how we tend to be like the people who are around us. Under the Universal Law of Association, we become like those whose company that we keep. Your conscious and proactive engagement of the Universal Law of Association can dramatically transform your life for the better.

Whether you know it or not, your actions and your identity are continually shaped by those people with whom you spend the most time.

This statement begs the question: who, exactly, are those people?

To take this one step further: If you don't like the way that your life is going, it is worthwhile to look around you at the company you keep. Do these people have lives that you admire?

Once you become aware of the nature of your ASSOCIATION, you can use it to your advantage.

If the people around you do not have a life that you want, perhaps it is time to reform your surroundings. Start to spend more time with people whose lives that you would like for yourself.

When you determine that your Association needs adjustment, you have the following three options:

1. EXPAND your Association

Choose to engage relationships with people whose lives you admire. Add them to your regular circle of camaraderie. You don't have to become best friends with this new circle; just spend time with them! Their positive influence will make a difference, and dilute the negative influence of those who drag you down.

2. LIMIT your Association

Even if you know certain people do not affect your ambition positively, it may not be practical to “divorce” them - they might be a relative! - but you can choose to spend less time with these people. The less time you spend with a person, the less powerful their influence.

This doesn't mean avoidance or rudeness; there are graceful ways to decline your company: “Gee, I'd love to, but I have a commitment!”

3. DIS-Associate

In some cases, you may need to disassociate yourself from the company that you have been keeping, and you must end the association. Do this quietly and gently: it is not always well-received!

Remember, your disassociation from someone doesn't mean that they are wrong, or bad; it simply means that you want a different - and better - life!

Reflection Questions:

Who am I around? What tribe do I belong to?
What does my current tribe have me thinking and saying?
Where does my current tribe have me going?
What does my current tribe have me becoming?
Is this in my best interest? And if the answer to #5 is “NO,” don't forget that you have three options: EXPAND, LIMIT, or DIS your Association!

Click here to visit the archives to read about one stylist's experience with the Law of Association and Peer Pressure.

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